My New Perspective

My perspective changed, and I was able to break through to my loved one and build a real connection with him.

This new connection inspired me to Change Lives Through the Power of Love & Straight Up Drug Ed.

I help Families and Friends of those misusing substances find clarity about the misused drugs, know healthier alternatives and find a way to reconnect with their loved ones.

It all started when I had decided that I could have no communication with my loved one until he was well and felt I had to step away from him. Psychologists and Drug Rehab Centers recommended this. Psychologists told me that he is simply manipulating all of us and that it would be a waste of my time and resources to try to intervene and help him. Rehab centers told me that I needed to let him hit rock bottom for him to have some epiphany and seek treatment. I, along with our family, lived by following this mentality for over fifteen years.

The pain and grieving of this break up of a relationship, watching him hit rock bottom repeatedly without improvement, and because I know as a pharmacist what dangers drugs can pose caused me to want to help my loved one and others even more.

In the following two years, what happened was, let's say, "A bit out of this World."

Various significant events occurred that led me to believe just the opposite of disconnecting from my loved one. I realized that I need to step towards my loved one and get to know and understand him more without trying to control the outcome. There is always hope that someone may change their minds and want to be well. It turned out to be a very step-by-step process. I had to see when he is ready to take the next step and what I feel comfortable supporting him through.

Many times, people want to get well from the bottom of their hearts but can't get out of this cycle because of their drug misuse. They feel stuck. They have hopes, dreams, plans for a better future, but there is ambivalence in their minds because the drugs pull them back.

After deep discussions with my loved one, I realized that manipulation is part of Substance Use Disorder's nature. I could see he would manipulate himself, and he, in turn, would have to manipulate me to get the drugs he wanted and needed. I invite you to understand where that is coming from and, as a result, not take it personally. The way around that, though, was not to abandon him but to do the exact opposite. It was to show Unconditional love, which leads to hope for a better future. It was to remove shame and control so he did not feel the need to manipulate but could be completely honest about what was happening. It is still very much a process because change takes time and effort. Love, Grace, Patience, Fun, Humor, Faith, and taking care of myself helps me get through the hard times with my loved one.

I started thinking, what can we do differently to pull him and others out of that circle. From the beginning of his drug misuse, I had always preached to him about how drugs are harmful, and you shouldn't do this or that, but I have never had an actual discussion or deep connection with him.

Is this what I was going to do again and present it to the public?

It never worked for my loved one, and it ruined our relationship. How was this going to help anyone else?

Too many coincidences were happening in a row that made me realize these are not mere coincidences but a calling leading me in a different direction.

I came upon psychologists and organizations with a new perspective that had new approaches for treating Substance Use Disorder.

Times have evolved and so have drugs and treatments. What works for one person may not work for another. I found new free and paid resources to help my loved one. I found out what other countries were doing for SUD, which was a very different approach from what we do here.

Nothing gives me more joy than to share what I have learned through my experience with others in hopes that maybe it can help some other people find hope, happiness and have the connection with their loved one back once again. SUD has many ups and downs, and I would love to share how I navigate those times with my loved one. I would also love to hear from you about how you have dealt with these ups and downs.

I decided to take these new approaches I found when talking to my loved one. Oh wow, what a difference. I used these approaches while my loved one was in jail and picked him up from jail upon his release, and spent seven days and nights with him alone after not knowing him for thirteen years. For the first time, I felt I was gaining my loved one back.

What did I do? How did I do it? I will share all of that with you on my various platforms.

I opened up my heart, became his friend, and decided to listen to what works and doesn't work for him without controlling the outcome. I asked him open-ended questions. This approach allowed him to process the information himself to see what he wants out of life without any judgment, shame, or stigma. It allowed me to see what part I would feel comfortable contributing to in that life.

I fully accept him for who he is. If he hurts my feelings, then I step away at that moment and set limits with him.

I stopped preaching and had discussions about drugs instead. I wanted him to be happy and well, from the bottom of my heart. However, although these are my desires, he needs to be ready to take the following steps and work on his new goals. I can support him throughout this process to the best of my capabilities.

For this reason, the drug education I provide will be completely impartial and will cover facts and complete data based on science.

I want this platform to give you an opportunity to have access to a pharmacist who has had first-hand experience with a loved one with severe Substance Use Disorder as well as in the field of pharmacy. My loved one will be helping me as well about what is out there on the streets.

I invite other healthcare professionals to speak their minds to have an open discussion about this topic and find new solutions together.

I feel called to get this message out to you to get through to your loved one. Research has shown that even one individual in a young person's life can change their life's outcome. Too many people are overdosing, and too many friends and families are hurting.

Let's wake up and make a change.

Love you all,

*Please be advised that this article is not to be taken as Medical Advice. It's for informational purposes only. Each person needs to consult their physician or healthcare provider for medical advice and treatment.